Wednesday, October 28, 2009

SARAH PALIN

Man With Limited Career Options Threatens Mutually Assured Destruction

"I have things that can, you know — that would get her in trouble, and could hurt her. Will hurt her. But I'm not gonna go that far. You know, I mean, if I really wanted to hurt her, I could, very easily. But there's — I'm not gonna do it. I'm not going that far," said Levi Johnston, father* of Sarah Palin's grandchild, and perhaps the one man in America who has the biggest stake in ensuring that Palin remains famous, influential, and prominent.

You're already in overtime on your fifteen minutes of fame, son; the moment Sarah Palin leaves the spotlight, so do you, buck-o.

* This originally said "son of Sarah Palin's grandchild." Insert your preferred joke about his maturity here.

10/28 01:53 PMShare